Anyone who has ever experienced a loved one going through addiction knows how devastating it can be on a personal and financial level. More than 21 million Americans are addicted to drugs, with millions more suffering from alcohol problems.
In many cases, those who have been affected by these addictions find that they cannot support themselves financially. In addition to the emotional strain that comes with it all, having an addict as a spouse means taking on extra responsibilities as well. There is no easy way of coping with this situation, but there are some things you can do to help yourself deal with your spouse’s addiction.
Don’t Do It Alone
It’s really tempting, especially when you’re initially overwhelmed by everything that goes along with the news that your spouse has a problem, to tell yourself that you can handle it all on your own. You may feel embarrassed about telling others that your spouse is addicted, and you don’t want to deal with the judgment of people who may think less of him or her.
But when someone we love is suffering from addiction, we need more than just our own strength to get through it all. We need help and support from family and friends so we can go through this difficult time together.
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Become Educated About Addiction
The more you know about addiction, the easier it will be to understand what your spouse is going through and how best to support them. For example, did you know that there are actually different types of addictions? Drugs fall into two categories— depressants (which can cause addiction) and stimulants (which usually don’t)—knowing this information could help when talking with your spouse about their problem.
Another area that is important to learn about is codependency since this affects people who are close to addicts in many ways. Codependence occurs when family members become so preoccupied with helping an addict in their life that they neglect their own needs. When you’re in a codependent relationship, you need to find time to care for yourself and not just be consumed by worrying about your spouse.
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Have a Game Plan
You may not be able to control your spouse’s addiction, but there are steps you can take to make the process easier for everyone involved. For example, if they have always been a spender when it comes to money, you may want to sit down together and draw up a budget so every penny is accounted for from now on.
It would help if you also considered opening an account into which the family deposits funds that your spouse could use only for certain purposes—such as going out with friends or buying gifts for birthdays and special occasions. By preventing them from having unsupervised access to the money, you’re also limiting the risk that they will be able to spend money on drugs or alcohol.
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Be Patient
No one expects an addict’s recovery process to be easy, but it helps greatly when there are people around supporting him or her in the right way. Think of addicts as injured patients who need to be coaxed and cajoled into actually following through with their treatment plan. The best way to show support for someone going through recovery is by helping them stay focused on what matters most—getting better– while keeping negativity out of the picture completely.
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Don’t Have Unrealistic Expectations
Some spouses believe that once an addict enters rehab, they will immediately become the person they used to be. This is a common mistake because addiction treatment takes time. Depending on the substance they were using, and how long they’ve used it, the process can take weeks and sometimes even months. To learn about the available addiction treatment programs, you can read more here.
Addiction is a serious problem that can take an emotional toll on people close to addicts. The best thing you can do for yourself and your family members during this trying time is learning all you can about addiction, get support from others who are also dealing with the same issue, and find treatment programs to help your loved one gain sobriety.
