Shuteye, 40 winks, catching some Z’s. It doesn’t matter what you call it, sleep is valuable. You need it to think clearly and be productive. So it’s natural that you’re protective of the hours when you’re staring at the back of your eyelids.
But what if your partner — the person you share your bed with — is denying you a good night’s rest? Maybe they’re restless, they snore, or they come to bed after you’re already peacefully snoozing and wake you. Whatever they’re doing, it’s turning you into a bleary-eyed morning monster.
You can handle a night of disrupted sleep every now and then. If you’re staring at the ceiling every night or being repeatedly roused from REM sleep, though, something has to give. Before you snap from a sleep-deprived stupor, give these seven slumber-saving strategies a try.
1. Check for Medical Conditions
Any number of issues can prompt a single night of snoring. Being overly tired, drinking too much alcohol, or having a stuffy nose can all be responsible. If your partner snores every night — especially if they stop breathing for several seconds — that’s different. They could have an underlying medical issue.
A sleep specialist can help them figure out what’s going on. Your partner will likely need to complete an overnight sleep study to determine whether they have sleep apnea.
It’s a disorder where breathing stops and starts repeatedly during the night, and snoring is the main symptom. The doctor may recommend one of several CPAP masks to help your partner’s breathing (and your sleeping).
2. Try Background Noise
If you’ve ever had an infant, you may already know how helpful background noise can be. Newborns frequently sleep better when there’s a constant sound —white noise — that drowns out everything else. If your partner is a sleep-talker or makes other noises during the night, you may benefit from this same strategy.
The concept is simple. White noise machines create a steady stream of muffled noise that covers up the snoring and talking. Pick a sound that works best for you. Most machines offer ocean waves, waterfalls, static, and more. The point is your brain won’t find those sounds disruptive, so you’ll sleep better.
3. Ditch Noise Completely
Maybe white noise sounds great in theory, but when you tried it, your partner hated it. That’s OK — you can skip the noise altogether. Sleep-friendly versions of noise-canceling headphones (like the ones people use on flights) give you options.
If you’re getting better sleep with white noise, use these headphones to enjoy the background sounds on your own. While you snooze, your partner can peacefully sleep-talk the night away. If you’d rather avoid the expense or the headphones aren’t comfortable, regular earplugs may do the trick.
4. Get a Bigger Bed
If you’re sharing a bed there needs to be enough room in it for both of you. If you’re too cramped, you’ll bump into and disturb each other all night. One or both of you isn’t going to sleep well.
If you can afford the expense, consider getting a bigger mattress. Investing in a queen- or king-size mattress offers you enough space to comfortably move without disrupting each other’s sleep.
If the price tag is too high, there is another option. Pushing together two twin beds offers more space, and you’ll feel your partner move less.
5. Try a Weighted Blanket
Once again, babies offer great examples of effective sleeping tricks. This time, it’s swaddling, or wrapping a baby up in a snug blanket. It’s not as easy to move, so they sleep better. The same concept can work for your restless partner.
No, you don’t have to wrap them up like a baby burrito. Try a weighted blanket instead. These blankets generally weigh between 10 and 25 pounds, and they mimic the feeling of being held.
For some people, that’s a calming effect that promotes sleep. If your partner thinks the lead apron used during dental X-rays is cool, this little treasure is probably for them.
6. Try Some Sleep-Friendly Compromises
If breathing machines and weighted blankets aren’t enough, it’s time to think about meeting your partner in the middle. What can you do to make the bedroom more sleep-friendly for you both? Fortunately, there are several tactics, and none of them are complicated.
Does your partner need to watch TV or read a book to wind down before sleep? If either disrupts your slumber, consider wearing an eye mask that blocks out light.
Do you both get overheated at night? Invest in lighter-weight sheets that can keep the heat at bay. If you disagree about the ideal sleeping temperature, though, using a dual-zone electric blanket can satisfy both of you.
7. Get a Sleep Divorce
This is probably the choice of last resort, especially if you’ve tried (and failed with) everything else on the list. If you’re still watching the hours tick by at night, a sleep divorce may be in your future. That’s right — it may be time to consider separate beds or even different bedrooms.
Before you reject the idea or get upset, you should know countless couples rely on separate sleeping spaces. If you make time for intimacy in other ways, sleeping apart can strengthen your relationship. If you’re not sleep-deprived, you’ll have more energy for shared activities — and you’ll likely be nicer to each other!
For lots of people, a good night’s sleep is a prized thing. Maybe you need five hours; perhaps you need 10. Whatever amount you require, do everything you can to ensure it’s quality snooze time.
Having a partner who’s a restless or noisy sleeper can make that harder, but it’s not a dealbreaker. Give these seven tactics a try, and you’ll be sleeping the night away in no time.
